We were from the same town. We went to the same school. We moved abroad, to the same city. We were working in the same profession, with the same title. But over the years, our situations couldn’t be more different: I had ten times his savings, I had traveled the world twice over, I had bought a house in a place I loved, and was paying less in mortgage than he was in rent, in an area of the city he disliked. We were worlds apart. Every piece of advice or encouragement I’d try to share would be met with the same answer: “My situation is different.”

This story is personal—it involves my closest friend. Seeing how much potential he lets slip away pains me deeply.

The Illusion of a “Different” Situation

Here’s the takeaway: no, your situation is not different. Don’t blame it on the economy, your surroundings, or your partner. The truth is, most of us have far more agency than we admit. It’s a matter of setting clear goals and working consistently towards them.

This isn’t about that overly-simplistic (and outright wrong, I would say) “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality. Context matters deeply - as I wrote in the post about success, and I know that everyone’s situation is different on some level. But if you’re living in a rich capital, with a degree and a solid job, then yes, the path to improvement lies largely within your control.

Luck, Opportunities, and Intentional Effort

I’m aware that luck has a role in success, and I don’t deny it played a part in my life. But I also believe that I had access to a similar amount of luck and opportunities as anyone else in my position, on average. I maximized what I had by getting out there, setting goals, and putting in focused effort. Are all goals guaranteed to come to life? No. But standing still will never get you there.

You can adjust the route, make U-turns if needed, but the most critical step is to start walking. Standing still is the death of development in every form.

My Path: Hard Work Over Easy Excuses

I won’t lie—my journey took effort, sacrifice, and patience:

  • Coding daily for a year to pivot into software development as a self-taught programmer.
  • Interviewing nonstop for seven months to secure a remote job that enabled me to travel the world.
  • Enduring another intense year of interviews to land a position in big tech.
  • Studying and practicing investing to grow my savings, ultimately allowing me to buy a house.

And all of this happened while I changed countries, had children, and navigated life’s regular challenges, just like anyone else.

The Power of Intentional Living

Being intentional with our lives gives us purpose and direction. It’s a guiding star to rely on in moments of doubt. This intention doesn’t just serve us; it serves those close to us too, fostering stronger relationships and shared experiences.

Break it Down and Take Action

Take a close look within. What’s holding you back? What steps, even small ones, could create positive change? Break it into manageable actions. Sure, it sounds simple, but these small steps are how I achieved my goals—and they’re also where I see so many people falling short.

Avoiding the Trap of Complacency

Finding your happy place is valuable, but settling into it too early can be limiting. Especially in your 20s or 30s, when there’s still so much potential. Fast-forward a decade or two, and the cost of missed opportunities becomes much harder to overcome. It’s not fair to your future self or the family you may want to support.

Take Action Now

Seize the moment. How does the saying goes? “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now”

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